Eklectique: You Know You're an Old Bat When...

by Madelyn (who would know)
and Alicia (who has heard about it enough times to imagine)

...You once ripped the alligator off an izod sweater and dyed it black and/or spray-painted a pair of jeans black.
...The scent of Zazu temporary hair color sends you into a reverie.
...You ever used anything like RIT, markers, spray paint, Easter egg dye, Kool-ade or Jell-O to color or style your hair.
...You remember when Wet n' Wild was the only manufacturer of black nail polish, and you had to stock up on cheapo black lipstick at Halloween.
...You recognize yourself in a cool new comic book. (Hey wait a minute, where's my "use of image or likeness" royalties!)
...When you run into people you used to hang out with a long time ago, they avert their eyes and say, "Oh are you still into all that? I grew out of it years ago."
...When you get carded, the person always takes an extra long look at your ID to be sure it's not fake. After all, everyone knows only teenagers dress like that because they're rebelling.
...You still think of yourself as a "freak," first and foremost above goth/punk/rivet head/computer geek and so on.
...You still use the expression "punk rock" to mean "way cool."
...You ever had a pair of jeans completely encrusted with the names of bands you read about in "Star Hits," lovingly applied with black permanent marker during gym class.
...You ever thought that wearing safety pins in your arms was the most outrageous piercing you'd ever see, and you still have at least one piercing that was made with a safety pin and bottle of vodka.
...You see nothing wrong with slam dancing in four inch heels and a corset, and you can manage to hurt everyone but yourself in the process.
...You've ever gone out dancing dressed like someone from Rocky Horror. (Hopefully it wasn't Rocky, but you may have just blocked it from your memory.)
...The words New Wave come out of your mouth at least once an hour.
...You find yourself saying, "When I was your age, we didn't have black lipstick, we had to make ours out of ashes and Vaseline!" and/or you ever used blue or purple eye shadow and carmex to make lipstick.
...There are more than ten people who say whenever they see you, "Remember that time a while ago you were really drunk and....."
...In high school you worried less about the administration hassling you and more about getting your ass kicked.
...Your music collection is on vinyl because they didn't even make CD's way back then dammit!